Dear Santa, all i want for Christmas is to be pain free ❄

December. The month where we are able to go crazy turning our houses into winter wonderlands, splurge on Christmas presents, eat to our heart’s content and only have to deal with the consequences when the New year welcomes us with open arms. This year has gone by in a blink of an eye but, I must admit I am glad that it has almost come to an end. It has been a pretty tough one for me. Christmas has given me something to look forward to as the last few months have left me feeling pretty deflated. I have spent many mornings waking up and not having the energy to get up. I often lay in bed and prepare myself for the pain I will feel as soon as I stand. This time around it just hasn’t really felt the same. I have always loved Christmas but, this year I haven’t really had enough energy to enjoy it. I should know better than to push myself too far but, I have just wanted to make the most of it. It’s alright, I’ll just hibernate throughout the month of January.

Our house is always decorated beautifully at Christmas. Its like our own little winter wonderland 

 Christmas shopping can be stressful at the best of times but, when you struggle to be on your feet, the thought of battling through the crowds can seem like an impossible task. I have managed to brave the crowds a few times as shopping online is not quite the same as being able to browse the shops for the perfect presents although I have spent quite a few hours searching online.

Last weekend was quite a busy one for me but, I summoned all my strength to make sure I enjoyed myself. I went for Christmas dinner at Harvester with my Fibromyalgia group on Friday 16th. It was lovely to see everyone enjoying themselves despite the pain we were all feeling. I enjoy catching up with them as we can all speak so openly and honestly about how we are feeling without having to explain. This time of year is tough for us but, I am glad we are all able to come together and enjoy the festive period.

The following evening I went to my dads work Christmas party at Barley land in Essex. I got to dress up and do my hair and makeup which always make me feel a bit better. We were treated to a Moulin Rouge style evening with a 4-course meal, burlesque dancers, trapeze artists and bumper cars. I had such a great night and as I was off all of my medication I was finally able to enjoy a few drinks without having to worry about the side effects. The next morning I was feeling pretty rough which I was expecting but, it was all worthwhile. For normal people my age, 2 nights out would be a regular weekend and their only worry would be the hangover they have the next day but, for me, it was such an accomplishment. Battling through the fatigue on a daily basis even when I have not exerted myself can be pretty tough, but, the aftermath after actually doing something can be much worse. This is the first Christmas that I have had to cope with having Fibromyalgia and to be honest I am still not sure how I have managed to keep going. I really did not want to spend the whole of December curled up in bed feeling sorry for myself, That is just not the person I am. I decided that if I was going to be tired and in pain, I would rather it be for good reason.

Photos taken at the Barley Land Christmas party 🙂

Unfortunately, the last few days on the run up to Christmas I have been feeling pretty shit. Although coming off all of my medication has stopped a number of side effects, it has now meant that my body is coping with the pain by itself. I spend at least 2 hours in the morning trying to find the motivation to do anything. I ache from head to toe and my brain struggles to come to life. The nausea which I was hoping would disappear still keeps rearing its ugly head so I have now been put on some anti sickness tablets meaning I can not drink any alcohol again. However, if it means that I will stop feeling sick than I am more than happy to make that sacrifice.

I hope you all have a lovely, relaxing Christmas that is relatively pain-free. Enjoy this time with your family and friends as those are the people that will lift your spirits if only for a day.

Eat plenty, be merry and have a wonderful Christmas 🙂

Jodie x

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