The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

Day 12

Walking into our psychology session on Tuesday we were faced with a dart board so we knew there would be a metaphor coming. We all took a turn at throwing the darts, some of us hitting the board and others hitting the door behind. The dartboard was meant to represent us. If we were constantly hitting the bullseye then we would be constantly hitting our goals and be 100% happy with everything that is going on in our lives. However, with a lot of us including those without chronic pain, there is always something that we are not quite happy with or need to work on. No one is perfect so there is always room for improvement in certain areas. We marked on a sheet where on the board we felt that the important things to us were at the moment and were asked to think about what small changes we could make in order to move closer to the bullseye in the middle.

During physio, we practised some gentle yoga which I enjoyed. I plan to start going to yoga classes once I have finished the program as I feel that starting with regular light exercise would be a step in the right direction. I have learnt not to push myself too far and only do what feels comfortable. In our second physio session, we discussed what kind of activities that we used to enjoy doing before our conditions took centre stage, why they are or were important and what challenges we face. My example was painting as I used to really enjoy being creative. I have shown a few people some of the paintings that I did in school and they have loved them so it has given me a confidence boost and reignited my passion for art. I guess over the years I lost interest and as my hands tend to hurt when I am writing I didn’t think that painting would be a very good idea. However, I intend to get the paints out when I get home ๐Ÿ™‚

We each had an individual catch up with the nurse just to review our medication and ask any questions. I told her that I now have my Naltrexone and she once again told me that she had never heard of it and plans to look into it (she said that 3 weeks ago). To be honest, I have already done my research and know as much as I need to know about it but, it would be nice for the staff to have some knowledge on it for future patients that may come to the clinic in the future who have started taking or have heard about Naltrexone.

Our occupational therapy session was a bit of a weird one. We were asked to get into pairs and challenge each other to do something challenging and embarrassing. I got such a lump in my chest and the anxiety around the room was intense. The last thing we wanted to do is go out and embarrass ourselves in the middle of London in front of the general public. Nevertheless, I accepted the challenge and stood in the middle of the park whilst doing the yoga tree pose in front of a couple of drunk people while the person I was partnered with practised some mindfulness. It was hilarious. I never knew I could hold that pose while smoking a cigarette at the same time :D.ย The idea of this exercise was to challenge ourselves even when we are in pain or feeling embarrassed. Sometimes these emotions or feelings need to be felt in order to overcome or acknowledge them.

I spent the evening with my family and boyfriend and traded in all of the arcade tickets we had collected over the last few weeks so that I could get a set of virtual reality glasses and a wireless speaker (we clearly spent a lot of time and money in there).

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Hi! It’s so good to hear that you’re thinking of picking up the brush again โ™ฅ
    I used to do a lot with my hands creatively, painting, drawing, DIY projects etc and I stopped everything when the fibro was suddenly there in a bad way. I can’t write with a pen without sever pain and cramping so I don’t do it anymore but I noticed every pen is different and I’ve learned that some things hurt my hands badly and other things work fine so it’s just a case of trying everything out.

    Since a year or so I’ve begun to draw with pencil and then filling them in with an ink pen, and then coloring in with a small light brush and ecoline. That I can do for over an hour, sometimes even longer. But when I try colouring a cartoon in with crayons, veltpens or coloringpencils my hands cramp up and hurt immediately, so the fine brushes and light use of an ink pen works for me now. And I’m glad cause I get to draw about pain (among other things) as well in a hopefully a funny way. I’m curious to see what will work for you now, there is bound to be something ๐Ÿ™‚

    I imagines you smoking and doing that yoga pose at the same time in the park, looks quite hilarious! Day 12 sounds like it was a good day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, thank You! I have always thought about getting back into painting but the pains in my hands have just put me off and I gradually lost the motivation.

      Yh your right, you just have to find what works best for you as something that may cause one person pain may be ok for someone else. I am glad that you managed to take little steps towards doing what you enjoy. I am the same when it comes to colouring in. I tried to use a adult colouring book but it really hurt my hands.

      Painting is a good way to express how your feeling on paper. I would love to see what you have drawn. I will let you know when i start painting how I get on.
      It was a good day compared to some of the others ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

      1. here’s a couple about pain ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love them ๐Ÿ˜Š

        Liked by 1 person

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